My unstable moment is now.

[chiisanahito]

This isn't exactly the start-of-school-break kind of feeling I'm having right now.
For some reason, I'm not actually thrilled at the moment.
I have a whole week of no school, and I'm feeling like crap.

WTF is wrong with me?

Surfing the net becomes more and more mundane, I even see it as pointless lately.
Drawing becomes more and more crappy.
Reading becomes more and more of a bother.
Photography becomes more and more of a downer.

...like srsly, what the fucking fuck is wrong with meee?!

All I feel like doing is staying somewhere quietly and cry, maybe.
God.

+++

You know, I don't mean to betray anyone or anything, but
when you have friends, and they talk about someone else,
especially lately I thought that ;
"If they can talk about other people to me, they can talk about me to other people too."

I know that they're awesome people and won't ever do that to me,
but that's possible, yeah?
Close friends or just friends.
I believe in my close friends to not do that, cuz I won't.
But the ones that are 'friends'...
My trust in them can be shattered, and I don't wanna shatter it, at least not yet.
Although given the current events, I might have the desire to do that.

And I don't like it one bit.

So now I have trust issues. Haha.

+++

I've mentioned somewhere that I get irritated easily with repetitive stuff.
And when someone keeps repeating the same words over and over again, it gets on my nerves.
How about if that person is a friend?
Yeah I'd get irritated too.

What's the point of me typing all these again...

Ano saa.
Is it strange when you suddenly have tears welling up in your eyes?
When you're not sad at all?
Cuz I'm having those right now, shit.

I'm definitely not okay right now,
just that I have no idea why.

Someone help meee.
...or are these just because of hormonesss
Haha.


Okay done ranting.
GTG gonna cry moar now.
Cuz I'm a wuss like that.
Meh.

Comments

[saga-von-claus.livejournal.com]

awwww babe *hugs*
i think this is one of those days(or maybe a week) where you just feel so down -
and you wanna rant and cry and get mad, and that's okay.
i was pissed a few days ago cus it seems that i was the only one who seemingly values school while my friends go and jump around like a bunch of cavemen (yeah, i was THAT pissed i thought they're javamen or somethin')

and yeah, that thing about some friends talking behind your back for fun's sake, i believe all friends do that, it's just whether they're saying it in a bad way or not.
i keep it neutral, honestly, when i do talk about my other friends to my other friends, i don't say bad stuff about them, not because i was sucking up or anything - but because i know what's it like when your friends talk behind your back. and it's not a good thing. i don't understand why some thinks it's fun to bash on your friends

so, take a deep breath.
get angry. get mad. scream.
then let it go.
XD

hey, you still have us! and ME

[chiisanahito.livejournal.com]

it's really okay? cuz it seems weird to me...man i'm whining a lot >w>;

and i also keep neutral when talking about friends to my other friends, cuz i don't wanna create something bad between them. it's just responsible this way, to me.

ah but i didn't scream!
i slept it off instead haha XD

and i know i still have you and you guys here X'3
thank you very much X'D

[saga-von-claus.livejournal.com]

well i am hoping my chibi-nadia is doing better nao...?
i found some laugh-ass-worthy gazetto piccies, i will post it via blogspot later on (cus i love spamming there anyways)
XD

it's okay to be pissedangry. you may not know the reason now, but you will later on. just hang on and think of takapon and scones

sleep - well okay thaz not so bad either!

~chuuu
*gives you ice cream sandwich*

[chiisanahito.livejournal.com]

first things first : I DIED AT YOUR AVVY *suffocating*

ahaha, hai chibi-nadia OK desuuu! (that will be the rarest of times when i'll be referring to myself in the third-person...)
YAYS MOAR GAZEMACRO! *is patiently waiting*

ah thinking bout takapon and scones does help out a bit. it soothes me. yes, it soothes me seeing a lady-like takapon drinking tea with his little finger out at a flowery tea-party setting...okay this is going overboard XD;

ah! *eats ice cream sandwich and crying happily*
i can't chuu back cuz my mouth's full with ice cream nao! sorry!

X3

[saga-von-claus.livejournal.com]

you...DIED?!
then why are you still talking to meeeeee...?!
kidding. you might be cyber-stalking me then. or i'm still asleep and this is a dream...
XD

i posted about 5 gazemacro and 5 jpop macros.
i'll post more later.
i found more worthy candidates! *laugh*

flowery tea-party setting ---> is he wearing a victorian dress as well? *is somewhat weirded out by picturing Takapon wearing THAT dress*

XD
feeling better nao...?

[chiisanahito.livejournal.com]

ohai, i'm just Nadia's soul wandering around the interwebz cuz her body refused to be in contact with anything physically.
and no you're not asleep, this ain't a dream.
at least *i* don't think it is.
it's paradoxical if it is eh?
no?

I SAW THOSE MACROS XDDD
and i fell in love with you for a moment. after i realized that i'm creeping myself out, i stopped the love. HAHA.
and BANZAAAI you found moar candidates! BRING EM INNN.

hnn yea a white victorian dress with those intricately-designed lace and ruffles...did i mention he wore white gloves with it as well?

yep i'm way better now =3 thanks X3

[saga-von-claus.livejournal.com]

lolz.
you win!
*raises hands*
neko neko neko neko-chan...nekoooooo-channnnnnnn!
that song helps the vocal chords too.
it is possible for ghosts to stalk the web too. seen that movie pulsekairo?

"after i realized that i'm creeping myself out, i stopped the love."
bahahaha. lol lol lol. but you WILL love me again cus i found more!
yata!

he reminds me of those blushing-brides now...ehhhh *still feeling weird out*

silver-bear was soo kawaiiiiiii.
*sings 'neko-chan' again*

[chiisanahito.livejournal.com]

XDDD
now you're making me want to look for that song. thanks a lot. and i'm just about to go to bed too. *pouts*
kairo? no haven't heard of it...about ghosts stalking the web...man that's scary!! did i mention i was about to go to bed?! I'M SCARED NOW. HUG ME WHILE I SLEEP!!
*slaps self*

oh man. oh man oh man oh man. you'll do anything for my love, it seems.
shikata ga naiii. i'll wait for the time then!
*slaps self more*

blushing-brides...okay now YOU're going overboard! i feel bad for manrii Takapon now. he's trying hard to give off the manrii look! but it doesn't seem that he's trying hard enough!

eheh yep silver-bear is =3 i've wanted him ever since the first time i saw himmm~ plus it looks...'star'-ish 8D lolz stuck-up bitch influenced me so

[saga-von-claus.livejournal.com]

ooh i have it! i have it! *is excited*
i'm gonna upload it and will give ya the link.
it is used for vocal exercises i believe..*pictures Ruki singing 'neko-chan'*
hai hai! it's not even THAT scary - the orig was a japanese movie, then they made an american-version of it...mehhhh.
hug you while you sleep then you slap yourself...daijoubo desu ka?

and again.
enough with the slapping! you're making me think of self-mutilation now - don't be creeped out!

he is manrii - very very very manrii...just that a blushing bride suits him too...mehehehe...Takapon likes!

lol stuck up bitch is like that eh, gets in your system

[chiisanahito.livejournal.com]

yay i will do vocal exercises after this! XD
ah, american-made japanese-origin movies never turn out as scary as it should be...from what i heard. since i'm not very into horror movies that much 8D; haha but if someone wants to watch it while i'm there, then it can't be helped -- i'll end up watching it too ne.
ah i'm straying off-topic there lolz.
hai nanka daijobu.

self-mutilation will never be in my mind! slapping myself is a way to...uh, remind me to not go off-topic! yeah, that's it!

ah i should really go to sleep now...weird words are forming in my brain, and none of em are comprehensible to the normal human mind >w>;
so...i'll sign off now, and good luck with finals!
brb, wanna dream of stuck-up bitch tonite

baicchu ♥

[saga-von-claus.livejournal.com]

mediafire is effing up on me..meh.
i'll try again laterz yo!
XD

the japanese movie was good - a bit dragging though. the american version was - cute, lolz. i mean, the style of the movie was cool.
ah true. good way to give yerself a reality check!

weird words like neko and Takapon and white-laces. and stuck up bitch
i will PRAY that you dream of stuck-up bitch.
~chuuu
and thanks!

[chiisanahito.livejournal.com]

ah no it's okay =3
thanks!

neko. Takapon. white-laces.
don't they weirdly feel like they belong in the same group? HAHA
ah i didn't dream at all last night >w>; must be he's busy occupying another person's dream...or rather, occupying other people's dreamS. and it reached the max capacity! oh damnnn.

[saga-von-claus.livejournal.com]

OMFG.
it's already morning there...?!
and i'm still about to hit the sack after this
mehehehhe.

why yes, it all seem to work doesn't it - neko + Takapon + white-laces = a blushing Takapon!
lez hope i dream of him then.

~oyasumichuuuuu

[chiisanahito.livejournal.com]

yeah morning here now~ ohayo!
and oyasumi to you! GO SLEEP.

hnn i'd like to have a dream of a blushing Takapon instead...
prz do dream of him in my place. onegai.

hai chuuyasumi~ (i'm butchering up words here now, ain't i.)

[harakanraakku.livejournal.com]

Well, I hafta say.. sometimes you just have those bursts of whatever, and whenever. The thing is just if they keep going, that's a problem, eh? Shifts happen, from good to worse and the other way around. Maybe you're just experiencing some period of any sort you're not conscious about?
Umh. I phail but the deal is that you can't always sort your feelings out and it's totally cool&humane. Those feelings might flush over and meh ok lol gotta go so I fails again
Kick it assss and hang thereeeee! YOSH

[chiisanahito.livejournal.com]

yeah i guess it's just another period of time...like hormones raging inside or something haha XD;
but i think i get what you're trying to say, and i really appreciate it. i mean, there's no use in fretting about it for so long that it makes me feel worse, yeah? so i'll just hang on and keep cool and stuff.

i'll definitely hang on =3
thanks X3

[harakanraakku.livejournal.com]

Yea something like that? There's a weiiird range of stuff mangling your mind as you're a human. Wow cliché?. There isn't words/clear explonation for every possible thing occuring.
Correct, if you let it grow, it becomes of enormous size. It after all might be something very "plain", not to belittle your feelings any bit but rollercoasti~~~ng=life eh.
Tried to seek for any sources of relaxation? Like trying to think of nothing and cleanse your mind up a bit?

It's always a pleasure, I hope it improves for you. :> ラブウウ

[hakitarun.livejournal.com]

T-T uuuuuuuuuuuuuu....

i dunno what to say here... i just... *hugsyaback*

and ur not strange to suddenly cry with no reason... i always do it uuu..

and... yknow ive sometimes thought about it too, if my frens talk about other peeps they also must have talkd about me with other peeps..

its just how things go... we cant stop it uuu.... *hugs again*

[chiisanahito.livejournal.com]

...you know, for some odd reason, your 'uuuuu' made me remember Distress and Coma...haha XD;

mm we'll just have to hang on and keep on with it, eh.
and i just hope that my trust for my friends will remain.

thanks for the comment, really, i appreciate it =3
and the hugs too X3
*hugs you backkk and accidentally cracked your backbone*

[vanilla69.livejournal.com]

Ah no ;___; I'm really sorry you feel that way!
I sometimes have those moments too... where you just feel like everything's wrong even if nothing changed. I just hope you get better. Get some distraction or talk to people. I believe it's just the hormones, sometimes... we just feel like that :/
I hope things will get better for you. Let me know if you want to talk~

[uru-k-22.livejournal.com]

won't talk too much here because sometimes words aren't so helpful as one thinks, especially when they come from someone who feels pretty much the same thing you do

i just hope you feel ok very soon, you're such a nice person and don't deserve to suffer

<33