Study mode switch : blown!
2008-12-06 11:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chiisanahitoZOMG I HAVE NO MOOD TO STUDY AT ALL.
And the finals is approaching fast.
Ah come on come on get on track, self!!
Somehow I have this feeling of already giving up.
I mean, I don't have the drive to keep on trying anymore.
I'd always find myself to think :
"Ah whatever's done is done, and whatever I can do, I'll do."
Doesn't that sound weak?
Doesn't that show that I am near surrendering?
Even if I think back to why I'm studying --
for my family and my own life --
the...なんだけ, passion? Or the will to continue and be successful is just not there.
I want to be able to contribute to the society with what I've learned, and I know the stuff I'm learning now - mechanical engineering - will give great improvements to the society at large, but I just...don't feel motivated at all.
Sometimes I think if this is really what I want to do.
And lately the answer to that has been NO.
I realized long ago that it is already too late to change majors/courses.
I mean, I'm already halfway through, so I might as well go through til the end.
If you ask me what I really want to do,
I have no definite answers for that.
Seriously, I can't think of any.
Am I too lost now or what?
What I think I want to do is learning multiple languages and learn about other people's cultures and understanding as well as how they see this world, how they compare to my own culture.
Anthropology I guess, what it's called.
In fact, I'd really like to learn more about my own culture in detail.
Yeah I don't have a concrete understanding of my own culture.
How sad is that?
Cuz if I can understand everything about my culture, my country, I can at least know why they would react as they do when they are presented with weird changes.
Like for example, people will look at you like you're insane when you wear a full-suit goth outfit.
This may be cuz in my country, we hold our traditions strongly, and we are often told to be as proper as possible.
So when wearing a full-suit goth outfit, you stand out too much, and you attract too many attention to yourself -- and that opposes to how you should act : keeping a low-profile.
Yep, tradition.
But I could see some changes in that mindset though, for the past few years.
Always it has been that women are the ones who would be under this sort of pressure, especially as to what they should and should not wear, and showing more skin than what's appropriate will be viewed as bad and such.
Well at least that's how it goes in my country.
So for the past few years, more and more women have shown that they are not afraid to wear those kind of clothes -- short skirts, low necks -- and maybe that's a way to rebel or something, I dunno.
Gradually people are accepting this kind of view, and cuz the mindset is changed somehow unconcsiously since it happens little by little, people don't look at those women with such criticality anymore, although there are still people who would disapprove them.
To be honest, I don't approve the women who wear such clothes in my country.
The people could accept to some extent those women, but still they can't accept those goth-type people.
Maybe cuz those goths are still new to my country.
But basically isn't it the same thing?
It's just a taste in fashion or something.
...so I guess Jrockers would be looked at with huge unbelieving eyes if they wear their costumes around my country.
Sometimes I imagine how Miyavi, with his neo-visualizm look, would walk around in KL.
People will definitely stare at him for as long as they can, ぜったいに.
That's better than having the fully visual-kei bands to perform here, like Versailles maybe. SuG even.
Ahaha it'll be amusing to have them here, and see what the people's reactions will be.
That's so far off from engineering, eh.
*shrugs*
Ah, this is becoming very long now, isn't it.
Thanks for reading.
But honestly, to anyone reading this, what do you think? About the difference in culture.
A Reason to Smile today :
Screencapped MOTH with Aoi and Ruki (in his pink pants of course) earlier this morning, it's amusing 8D
ps :![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
harakanraakku , I'm listening to THE TIMES now XD somehow I want to listen to something more home-ish. Hehe ♥
And the finals is approaching fast.
Ah come on come on get on track, self!!
Somehow I have this feeling of already giving up.
I mean, I don't have the drive to keep on trying anymore.
I'd always find myself to think :
"Ah whatever's done is done, and whatever I can do, I'll do."
Doesn't that sound weak?
Doesn't that show that I am near surrendering?
Even if I think back to why I'm studying --
for my family and my own life --
the...なんだけ, passion? Or the will to continue and be successful is just not there.
I want to be able to contribute to the society with what I've learned, and I know the stuff I'm learning now - mechanical engineering - will give great improvements to the society at large, but I just...don't feel motivated at all.
Sometimes I think if this is really what I want to do.
And lately the answer to that has been NO.
I realized long ago that it is already too late to change majors/courses.
I mean, I'm already halfway through, so I might as well go through til the end.
If you ask me what I really want to do,
I have no definite answers for that.
Seriously, I can't think of any.
Am I too lost now or what?
What I think I want to do is learning multiple languages and learn about other people's cultures and understanding as well as how they see this world, how they compare to my own culture.
Anthropology I guess, what it's called.
In fact, I'd really like to learn more about my own culture in detail.
Yeah I don't have a concrete understanding of my own culture.
How sad is that?
Cuz if I can understand everything about my culture, my country, I can at least know why they would react as they do when they are presented with weird changes.
Like for example, people will look at you like you're insane when you wear a full-suit goth outfit.
This may be cuz in my country, we hold our traditions strongly, and we are often told to be as proper as possible.
So when wearing a full-suit goth outfit, you stand out too much, and you attract too many attention to yourself -- and that opposes to how you should act : keeping a low-profile.
Yep, tradition.
But I could see some changes in that mindset though, for the past few years.
Always it has been that women are the ones who would be under this sort of pressure, especially as to what they should and should not wear, and showing more skin than what's appropriate will be viewed as bad and such.
Well at least that's how it goes in my country.
So for the past few years, more and more women have shown that they are not afraid to wear those kind of clothes -- short skirts, low necks -- and maybe that's a way to rebel or something, I dunno.
Gradually people are accepting this kind of view, and cuz the mindset is changed somehow unconcsiously since it happens little by little, people don't look at those women with such criticality anymore, although there are still people who would disapprove them.
To be honest, I don't approve the women who wear such clothes in my country.
The people could accept to some extent those women, but still they can't accept those goth-type people.
Maybe cuz those goths are still new to my country.
But basically isn't it the same thing?
It's just a taste in fashion or something.
...so I guess Jrockers would be looked at with huge unbelieving eyes if they wear their costumes around my country.
Sometimes I imagine how Miyavi, with his neo-visualizm look, would walk around in KL.
People will definitely stare at him for as long as they can, ぜったいに.
That's better than having the fully visual-kei bands to perform here, like Versailles maybe. SuG even.
Ahaha it'll be amusing to have them here, and see what the people's reactions will be.
That's so far off from engineering, eh.
*shrugs*
Ah, this is becoming very long now, isn't it.
Thanks for reading.
But honestly, to anyone reading this, what do you think? About the difference in culture.
A Reason to Smile today :
Screencapped MOTH with Aoi and Ruki (in his pink pants of course) earlier this morning, it's amusing 8D
ps :
harakanraakku , I'm listening to THE TIMES now XD somehow I want to listen to something more home-ish. Hehe ♥
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-12-06 08:52 pm (UTC)You know, I really crave for this stuff since it's interesting to see, how culture surroundings affect a person. And yet, tho' the world's becoming even more global and blah, we cling onto our own customs, traditions and ways of seeing things and maintain those somewhere in the background.
To keep low-profile.. sounds kind of funny. Finns won't mind but we do prefer keeping a lower profile in other ways, such as not making a big fuss in public, being too noisy and, well, we act rather restrained in the eyes of the outsiders. I guess we're rather shy and also not having the confidence, as we think we shouldn't show how proud we are about things but act like "oh that's nothing" even if there was something you should rejoy about/showing your content about it is cool and just perfectly fine. I think we're too low in self-confidence and struggle with bad self-esteem problems, sucks bad.
About more revealing clothing - sometimes I can't understand why women shouldn't wear what they wanted, as a human body is beautiful and natural, with nothing bad about it. Then again I know how the male nature can be very destructive and clothing yourself more is a way to show how you're more than just some female as it takes more attention away from your physical side. However, humans are both physical and mental with many layers and levels to be counted. I myself prefer showing less bare skin for many reaons, partly because I feel annoyed about my feminic look and how attention gaining it possibly can be (hey I have something more than just boobs only, duh).
But there guestions are not just so simple, I have to admit. As I believe in the right to wear what you want, at the same time I realize there are reasons and backgrounds for things being as they are.
Ah, I wish for more stuff like this coming from you in the future. 8)
Whooo for THE TIMES! Love their Tunjuk Perasaan.
no subject
Date: 2008-12-06 09:22 pm (UTC)Low-profile sounds weird I know, but I couldn't think of any other words 8D these all came out quite randomly, what with it starting as my laziness to study. Eheh.
Yeah even in my country, you can't be making such a fuss or being noisy without people looking at you weirdly. I noticed that here in the US, people can be as loud as they want and people wouldn't even care. It's kind of polar opposites, where I'm from and where I'm now =3
I dunno bout self-esteem though, but we tend to do stuff that we think will get us recognized, like if we have the opportunity to go out to space, we will do that. And that has actually happened, my country has sent this one doctor to go along this one space program that I can't remember which =w=;; but it was earlier this year I think. He went as...an observer...or something. See, as long as we can put a Malaysian in space, we'll be happy, somewhat.
Being a third-world country, we have lots of stuff to catch up on with the world, and I can say that I'm proud of what we can/have achieved so far. Especially in the animation industry, there are some cartoons that are done by CG, and I am actually very impressed with them. (Yeah I was skeptical about my own country's ability in animations previously) Also we have awesome comic artists, and me being a somewhat avid illustration-stuff-follower back home, I would really like to see Malaysia in the eyes of the comic world. Or something like that X3
Yeah revealing clothes, I also believe that people can wear what they like, but cultures and traditions have set a guideline as how appropriate we should be. Of course we can break free from the rules. But rules are there for a reason eh. Like, sexy clothes are like magnets to men that say "come and get me". And isn't it kind of one of the reasons for rape?
I'd like to write something like this too in the future, but usually I stumble on my own words so I tend to leave the ideas behind. Haha~
Yayaaay~ ah, where do you listen to them anyways? I could only think of MySpace and imeem =3
no subject
Date: 2008-12-06 10:07 pm (UTC)Heh, I guess there's no Finn who'd been in the space, sad to say, though we often affect somewhere in the background; text messages was a Finnish invention and there are Finnish people who design skycrapers. Maybe we'll catch up someday with state subject.
Third-world? I wasn't that aware of it, thinking you'd be at least a bit more developed. We're first-world country and I feel sorta guilty for saying that (well as if I'd be my fault being born here but we're doing so good with many things that I'm not even aware for most of the time).
Well, if there stands a rule for something, it doesn't automatically mean it'd be a good rule.
Yup, but as we know, we're not just some very undeveloped creatures but we can decide ourselves. No matter how someone looks like, no-one has the reason to pull any negative act against them, act threatening or actually go and attack them. Of course, if everyone would stay away from such bad deeds like rapes..well, I know it doesn't always work, tho' it should.
It'll take some effort and you'll make it there as you brush up your own skills. Nothing bad about failing at times, it's just human, heh.
MySpace it ees. AUGH I WANT TO BUY THEIR STUFF so it is with Hujan, too.
no subject
Date: 2008-12-07 08:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-07 05:07 pm (UTC)i know Malaysians are kind of 'narrow-minded' but i don't really want to say it, cuz it sounds so harsh~ but that's the truth ne. although, not everyone's like that. i mean, maybe we can accept these stuff someday, but we need to be exposed to them little by little =3 i have no idea how to do that but it's do-able X3
but then again maybe actually we still want to preserve the image that is 'Malaysia' (or 'Malay' for us), so we don't want this sort of influence to take over the identity of our people. ne.
(prz to be excusing my weird sentences, i just woke up XD)