Please ignore this whining post.

I think I started off the day quite bad.
By breaking my mom and dad's heart.
I asked them if I can change my major from Mechanical Engineering to Engineering Technology -- ME is more specific, ET is more general but covers stuff of MechE and Manufacturing Engineering if I'm not mistaken, so...
After telling that, I can hear that their voice were somewhat a bit different, but maybe it's just me, although...
They told me to hang on and don't give up, to take things slowly.

I know that.
I know I shouldn't give up and finish what I started.
But I feel helpless and useless, that I can't keep on going with something I don't have much passion on.
There are a lot of times that I've asked myself, "Why am I taking this...?"
Cuz honestly, I don't have any answers to that.

I blame it on myself though.
I didn't research enough on what I was planning to take after my high school.
I didn't look around hard enough and asked about it to anyone.
It was like I didn't know what there is to know.
Or rather, I didn't know what I didn't know.

But If you ask me now what I really want to do, I can't give a definite answer.
There's stuff that I really want to do but have no skills for them.
Like a journalist, maybe. Or a photographer. Maybe a diplomat? I dunno.
It's crazy, not knowing what to do with your life.
And I'm almost 22 this year too.

My friends are way past me.
I feel like being left behind, far behind.
They're graduating by this spring, and my other friends are also on their way to graduate.
Some of them even have internships and jobs now.

This is my problem.
I compare myself to my friends.
We're not on the same course or anything, right?
Therefore, I'm scared.
I dunno why but I just am.

Ah enough of this.
Sorry for whining.

raining all the way.

がんばる、おれ。
みんながんばってから。

つよくなる。
つよくなる。
ほんとうに、つよくなる。

I'll try hard.
Cuz everyone's trying hard too.

I'll be strong.
I'll be strong.
I'll be strong, definitely.