total opposite, today and tomorrow.
2008-02-17 10:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chiisanahitoa lot of stuff happened these past 2-3 days. i liked Friday, but Saturday was kind of...a bit put-off sort of feeling. meh. i couldn't tell exactly what my feelings/emotions were during those days. it went 180 degrees opposite drastically.
dammit i hate this feeling. i don't like being emotional over a stupid stuff like this.
this is a time when even swearing won't do much of a justice.
a Reason to Smile today :
i still have a family who cares for me. i YM-ed with my dad last night, and chatting with him made me feel a little better.
on Friday i went shopping with a few friends. it's been a while since i went out and bought a lot of stuff. no, seriously, a LOT. i got what i wanted plus a few other things, and believe it or not i PLACED AN ORDER FOR CRiSiS CORE : FiNAL FANTASY VII which will be coming out on March 26.
what made me remember this day most is the fact that the cashiers i talked to have the same interest as me. well yeah, if you go to a gaming store of course the cashier must know a lot about gaming too, but not necessarily the game that YOU play.
at first i went into the game store to look for Katamari for the PSP, but i there were no copies available, not even used ones. so i walked around and my eyes, being the sharp FFVII spotter (heh), saw the promotional poster behind the counter. so i walked up to the cashier and asked bout it. she said it'll be out in March, and if you want to place an order you just have to pay extra $5. i was really tempted to buy it, but since the PSP i'm currently holding now is not mine (it's my housemate's), so i just let it go by. then the cashier said she already placed her order, and that she can't wait for it, and then she continued to tell me that she's currently playing FFX now, and me, being easily interested in game/FF-related stuff, told her that i played FFX-2, and the conversation when on and on. she hasn't played FFVII yet, how can that be? i mean, that's the BEST FF ever!! not because of the Advent Children and the other FFVII games that spawned from it, nooo, but because the game itself is extremely awesome. after a while then i decided, on the spot, to GO for it : "i'll place an order for Crisis Core." oooh wow. after a few info-exchanging, we said to each other "see you then!!" and i left the store with an utmost accomplished feeling. Zack Fair, wait for me~ ah i'll be going back to the store on March 26, definitely. or later a bit.
and then there was this bookstore cashier incident. i bought James Patterson's Maximum Ride : Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports because at LAST i found a paperback copy. before this i've only found hardcovers, and they cost a lot more than paperbacks. i went to pay for it, then the cashier looked at the book, then at me, and said "did you know that the fourth one is coming out?" i was like "O_O really? when is it coming out?" then he checked on his computer for the release date, and replied "on March 17, 1 month and 2 days from now." he said he also reads Maximum Ride, and told me that this series is sort of from the other James Patterson's creation, When the Wind Blows and The Lakehouse (if i'm not mistaken). then he went on explaining to me that the Maximum Ride series takes place like 15 years after When the Wind Blows/The Lakehouse, and that at that time, Max were 75% human and 25% bird. now, Max is 98% human and 2% bird. i was really awed by his fandom-ness, he knew more than me, how can that be? (ahaha) then he also said he placed an order for the 4th one already. i didn't think i'll have enough time to read anything other than my school books, so maybe i'll look for the book some months later when the paperback copies are out. oh btw, the cashier wore a lot of piercings and rings, and they're all silver (or stainless steel, i couldn't tell). at first i thought the cashier was a lady, kind of a middle-aged lady. turns out he's a guy. i was like "@_@ o...kay...he's a guy." but his rings are definite coolness. i want them~ agh.
then Saturday. it was all okay til afternoon. i couldn't tell properly here, but a call made me fall to tears. i cried for something like this before, a few years back, and i thought i'll never cry again. but obviously i was wrong. this dispute has been going around here for a while now, i knew it'll affect me sooner or later, but either way i don't like it. i don't want the people close to me being talked about by other people who are also close to me in a bad way. you know, like when you know this person a certain way, then other people talked about him/her in other ways, and you know a part/all of it are somewhat true, and it made you think "why should you talk about him/her like that? even if it's true, is it your right to tell it to others? especially the bad things?" it's just confusing. now i don't really know who to look up to, i don't want to take sides, i don't want people i know to go against each other, i have to live with them for 2-3 more years, i don't i don't i don't. it's childish, haven't you realized? the more responsible thing to do is ask and discuss directly with each other. yes that is easier said than done, but it's not impossible. the only thing it takes is reason. and the thing that's blinding reason is arrogance. arrogance won't take you anywhere. it'll just mess things up, like where we are now. i thought they're adults who i can look up to, but they're not exactly who i pictured them to be. it's uncomfortable, you know, to listen to this person talking about that person, then when you sit with that person this person gets talked about too. it's annoying, it's confusing, it's tiring. i know how to think for myself, but i can only go so far. but being upset can't turn things right. i don't want to get involved in this, but i want to see them respecting each other, you know, not hating or talking behind their backs, stuff like that.
when i went to my friends' house, i felt terribly alone. i couldn't talk much to anyone. i may have been joking or laughing together with the others, but somewhere inside me i felt weird. i don't know why. or maybe it's just me pushing them away.
what made me remember this day most is the fact that the cashiers i talked to have the same interest as me. well yeah, if you go to a gaming store of course the cashier must know a lot about gaming too, but not necessarily the game that YOU play.
at first i went into the game store to look for Katamari for the PSP, but i there were no copies available, not even used ones. so i walked around and my eyes, being the sharp FFVII spotter (heh), saw the promotional poster behind the counter. so i walked up to the cashier and asked bout it. she said it'll be out in March, and if you want to place an order you just have to pay extra $5. i was really tempted to buy it, but since the PSP i'm currently holding now is not mine (it's my housemate's), so i just let it go by. then the cashier said she already placed her order, and that she can't wait for it, and then she continued to tell me that she's currently playing FFX now, and me, being easily interested in game/FF-related stuff, told her that i played FFX-2, and the conversation when on and on. she hasn't played FFVII yet, how can that be? i mean, that's the BEST FF ever!! not because of the Advent Children and the other FFVII games that spawned from it, nooo, but because the game itself is extremely awesome. after a while then i decided, on the spot, to GO for it : "i'll place an order for Crisis Core." oooh wow. after a few info-exchanging, we said to each other "see you then!!" and i left the store with an utmost accomplished feeling. Zack Fair, wait for me~ ah i'll be going back to the store on March 26, definitely. or later a bit.
and then there was this bookstore cashier incident. i bought James Patterson's Maximum Ride : Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports because at LAST i found a paperback copy. before this i've only found hardcovers, and they cost a lot more than paperbacks. i went to pay for it, then the cashier looked at the book, then at me, and said "did you know that the fourth one is coming out?" i was like "O_O really? when is it coming out?" then he checked on his computer for the release date, and replied "on March 17, 1 month and 2 days from now." he said he also reads Maximum Ride, and told me that this series is sort of from the other James Patterson's creation, When the Wind Blows and The Lakehouse (if i'm not mistaken). then he went on explaining to me that the Maximum Ride series takes place like 15 years after When the Wind Blows/The Lakehouse, and that at that time, Max were 75% human and 25% bird. now, Max is 98% human and 2% bird. i was really awed by his fandom-ness, he knew more than me, how can that be? (ahaha) then he also said he placed an order for the 4th one already. i didn't think i'll have enough time to read anything other than my school books, so maybe i'll look for the book some months later when the paperback copies are out. oh btw, the cashier wore a lot of piercings and rings, and they're all silver (or stainless steel, i couldn't tell). at first i thought the cashier was a lady, kind of a middle-aged lady. turns out he's a guy. i was like "@_@ o...kay...he's a guy." but his rings are definite coolness. i want them~ agh.
then Saturday. it was all okay til afternoon. i couldn't tell properly here, but a call made me fall to tears. i cried for something like this before, a few years back, and i thought i'll never cry again. but obviously i was wrong. this dispute has been going around here for a while now, i knew it'll affect me sooner or later, but either way i don't like it. i don't want the people close to me being talked about by other people who are also close to me in a bad way. you know, like when you know this person a certain way, then other people talked about him/her in other ways, and you know a part/all of it are somewhat true, and it made you think "why should you talk about him/her like that? even if it's true, is it your right to tell it to others? especially the bad things?" it's just confusing. now i don't really know who to look up to, i don't want to take sides, i don't want people i know to go against each other, i have to live with them for 2-3 more years, i don't i don't i don't. it's childish, haven't you realized? the more responsible thing to do is ask and discuss directly with each other. yes that is easier said than done, but it's not impossible. the only thing it takes is reason. and the thing that's blinding reason is arrogance. arrogance won't take you anywhere. it'll just mess things up, like where we are now. i thought they're adults who i can look up to, but they're not exactly who i pictured them to be. it's uncomfortable, you know, to listen to this person talking about that person, then when you sit with that person this person gets talked about too. it's annoying, it's confusing, it's tiring. i know how to think for myself, but i can only go so far. but being upset can't turn things right. i don't want to get involved in this, but i want to see them respecting each other, you know, not hating or talking behind their backs, stuff like that.
when i went to my friends' house, i felt terribly alone. i couldn't talk much to anyone. i may have been joking or laughing together with the others, but somewhere inside me i felt weird. i don't know why. or maybe it's just me pushing them away.
dammit i hate this feeling. i don't like being emotional over a stupid stuff like this.
this is a time when even swearing won't do much of a justice.
a Reason to Smile today :
i still have a family who cares for me. i YM-ed with my dad last night, and chatting with him made me feel a little better.
